Starry Starry Fright

Lyrics (c) Syd Meats & Nick Milton

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Starry starry night
Out of focus picture blurred
Blobs of yellow lemon curd
All smeared across the canvas in a mess
Your pictures never sold
I can't say I'm that surprised
Anyone with any eyes
Would realise your paintings were all crap

Now I understand
Why you cut your left ear off
Why they put you in the loony bin
Why they didn't set you free
You were a danger to society
Like most artists are

Starry starry night
See it from your padded cell
You can't paint it - just as well they put you in a straight jacket today
Tell me were you mad, or were you just colourblind?
You must have been out your mind
What gave you the idea you could paint?

Now I understand
Why you had one ear (not two)
Stereo was not the thing for you
You'd have probably liked The Smiths
You were a danger to society
Like most Smiths fans are

You'd have had a fright
If you'd seen inside The Tate
Any work of yours looks great
Compared with piles of bricks and bits of pipe
Look at art today
Pots of paint just thrown at walls
Then I'm not surprised at all
Your paintings now sell for a lot of dosh

Now I understand
Why you shot yourself and died
Well it wasn't really suicide
It was a work of modern art
You were a danger to society
Like most people are